Do you cringe whenever you have to ask for something from your manager or someone from another department? Instead of asking, you can negotiate to get whatever you need, and as a result everyone will benefit.
“If you think about it, you’re already a good negotiator because everyone negotiates in their personal lives with family and friends,” says Michael Schatzki, president of Negotiation Dynamics in Far Hills, N.J. “However, if you negotiate well, you’ll come out with better deals for everybody than if you don’t try to negotiate.”
Clarify
You must be certain about what you need and what you’re willing to give up in a negotiation. To get clarity, make a list of the things you need, the reasons you want them, and how they’ll benefit you and others. Next, prioritize your list, labeling the items A (essential items), B (beneficial but not essential), and C (things you’d definitely be willing to give up in a negotiation).
Frame
Framing is the point of view you take when you negotiate.
“The key to framing is that it has to be from the frame of reference of both parties,” says Schatzki. “To frame your request, ask yourself what the negotiation is about.
Here are other questions that can help you frame your request:
- What do I need?
- What’s the impact on the person who needs to approve it?
- How can I achieve my goal and meet the other person’s needs?
Plan
Choose something small from your priority list and practice talking about it, then build up to something more important. Plan your opening statement based on the frame of reference you have decided to use. After thanking the other person for meeting with you, continue with the following:
- The current situation is—
- It’s not working well because—
- I need—
- The benefits will be—
“Then practice, practice, practice!” advises Schatzki. “A good way to practice is to role-play the negotiation with a friend.”
Next, invite the other person to meet with you. It’s important for you to arrange a neutral place where you both will feel comfortable, such as a quiet restaurant or a private conference room.
Negotiate
If you go into your negotiation expecting a good outcome, you’ll look and sound confident. Start with your preplanned opening statement. Then listen. You may be surprised to discover that what’s important to the other person is something you can easily give. It isn’t usually that easy, though, so you’ll need to go through the negotiation process.
In the negotiation, you want to have a meaningful dialogue so you both understand each other’s viewpoint. You may need to break your request into parts. Then negotiate each part of your request, compromising when needed to achieve a mutual agreement.
During the negotiation, it’s essential to keep your composure and not react to what the other person says. Keep a positive attitude and focus on a win-win solution.
Get results
Even if you only get part of what you want, you’re better off than when you started, and you can always ask for the rest at another time.
“What’s more, you’ll have won the respect of the other person for addressing your needs in a mature way,” says Schatzki. “And you’ll have gained valuable practice in negotiation.”