A coworker blows a deadline, your boss steals your ideas, you miss a meeting due to heavy traffic—these are the normal hassles of living.
On a scale of one to 10, with one being calm and 10 being blind rage, most people react to such frustrations with a two or three. If you’re working your way up to a six or seven, your anger probably isn’t under control – and you may be suffering consequences.
Uncontrolled anger, such as aggressive outbursts or personal attacks, can lead to problems at work, broken relationships, and medical conditions such as high blood pressure and heart attacks.
In the long run, little good comes from angry responses. Yelling at your credit-grabbing boss, for instance, may make you feel better in the short term, but your relationship will suffer. That could slow your advancement or even get you fired.
Here are some strategies to help you manage anger:
Keep an anger journal
After an outburst, note where you were on that scale of one to 10. What did you say or do that escalated the encounter? How else could you have responded? By paying attention to your anger and how you expressed it, you begin to see what you could do differently next time.
Learn to relax
Deep breathing or visualization can help you relax when you feel anger getting out of control. Another trick: progressive muscle relaxation. Tense and then relax each group of muscles, one at a time, from head to toe.
Change how you think
When you’re really angry, it’s easy to make a bad situation worse. Once you realize this, you can try a different response: “I’m really annoyed with my boss, but I’m going to back off and give her the benefit of the doubt,” for instance.
Take a time-out
If you respond to someone when you’re angry, you’re more likely to say things you’ll regret. Remove yourself from the situation until you calm down and gain control. Then you can offer a more measured response.
Don’t do it alone
If you can’t manage anger on your own, contact FIRSTCALL EAP (1.800.382.2377) or another mental health professional who can help you change behavior.